HIGHSCHOOL OF THE DEAD – 09
「The Sword and the DEAD」
Before I get started on this embarrassing episode, I’d like to point out that the events occurred in this episode is canon, and it is taken from a later chapter. The choice to put it in now must be to give Saeko a little more “depth” before ending the season. In perspective, there’s really no difference in having this escapade arc of theirs now or later, but purists might have some complaints I suppose. Regardless, who’s going to agree that this episode wins the awkward award of the year? Don’t? Allow me to explain in excruciating detail.
Saeko and Takashi have now split from the group and are on their way to Takagi’s mansion. They try to avoid the zombies until needed, and soon find a shop that contains an all terrain vehicle. Driving around, they attempt to avoid the zombies in the river. On a little island, the two make small talk and Takashi suddenly questions Saeko whether or not there was anyone she liked. A rather random question, Saeko blushes and looks off into the distance and says, “Yes, there was one I liked.” Awkward moment #1.
The zombies disappear, and they make their move to a plaza of some sorts. Takashi lands the vehicle into the fountain and lets it run in circles to attract the zombies. Saeko proceeds to jump off and obliterate the zombies, but soon runs into children. Frozen, Takashi comes behind and blasts their face off (not shown of course, but it was in the manga). As night approaches, they happen upon a shrine to camp in until the next day. At this point, Saeko is pretty freaked out, and apparently feels the need to explain to Takashi her “true” self. Yadda, yadda, she basically just listed the symptoms of being a psychotic sadist. She recoils with tenderness at her wound now in the open, but Takashi, being the MAN he is, quickly makes his move and enters the land of Valhalla. Awkward moment #2.
Now, I’m sure this will be discussed till the end of time, but Madhouse apparently decided to imply that Saeko and Takashi proceeded to do the baby making. With the fading to black, then the adjusting of her underwear in the morning (which just so happens to be conveniently covered by his “gun”), how is it not possible he tapped that bushido ass? However, apparently the sexing didn’t satisfy her, as she was still hesitant on continuing to fight. Takashi, knowing damn well what the woman needs, gets behind her (quick as hell, mind you) and places his arm over her chest to grab her left breast. With a clenching hand, hard enough so that the breast leaks from the gaps in his fingers, Saeko lets out squeals from being empowered by a man. Takashi proclaims his admiration, and Madhouse thought it was a good idea to zoom up to his hand, just to show how serious he was. The more serious he got, the harder he squeezed, and boy, was he serious! Awkward moment #3.
Lo and behold, the manliness completely won her over in true sexist fashion. With new found acceptance and finally embracing her inner psychotic without guilt, Saeko shamelessly enjoys her fetish with the zombies. Suddenly, she informs us that she is now “wet”, with the Japanese for “wet” plastered over the screen. This is where I pretty much lost it. Looking away from the screen, almost “wet” myself, I asked my monitor, “LOL DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN RIGHT NOW?”(I didn’t get a response btw) Awkward moment #4.
As the fight subsides, Saeko asks him to “take responsibility”. Wow, where have I heard that line a million times before? Seriously Japan, I swear you have a list of “commonly said sentences to be used in a certain genre” posted on the walls of your studio offices. Besides that fact, the irony in all of this is that Takashi then narrates that he basically just accepted her for his own survival. What a manipulative dog! He must have planned this from the beginning, noticing that this was his chance to trap himself with Saeko. He cornered the girl, got laid, then completely empowered her to be on his side (sounds like he “broke” the girl for those familiar with the term).
Anyway, they finally reach Takagi’s house. I think I finally know the true intention of this apocalypse. It’s all just as planned of course. Takashi’s using it to get into the pants of all the girls. The man is a genius. One down, four to go (yes, I counted Alice because loljapan). The next couple episodes will deal with lolpolitics and lolrightwingactivists, and more “forced” morale problems. I started getting annoyed of HOTD during this arc, as the weakness of the author’s writing becomes as blindingly obvious as Takagi’s lust for Takashi’s babies.
Oh, and don’t forget, if you want to win a girl’s heart, the LEFT breast is the key! Just form a death grip on that thing and don’t let go. Squeeze harder for maximum damage!