OP: 「この青空に約束を」 (Kono Aozora ni Yakusoku wo) by KAORI
The opening showed scenes of the guy moving in, with some dude that looked like his dad and an oyaji that looked like a perv. Both of them seemed to be making fun of the guy for moving into a dorm with only girls, at the same time wishing they could be in his place. This is about when I start disliking the show, as the guy looks like a stiff (not that way) and a total loser.
One of the reasons we blog anime is to give potential audiences some preview as to what they’re getting themselves into. In most cases, the show has some redeeming feature that appeals to some people…this is not one of those.
To use a catch phrase right about here would be to say “I want my twenty minutes back,” or just simply “do not watch this show.”
So here’s a summary…
It’s another beautiful spring morning. The forest of pink sakura blossoms radiates against the azure sky, the light breeze and sound of chirping birds comprising a symphonious melody. There’s a girl outside Wataru’s room, telling him to wake up. She’s quite persistent but remains politely outside his door. Turns out Wataru is wide awake, and is sitting on the ground looking quite constipated. He’s grunting coarsely as if he downed a whole bottle of Metamucil the night before. The camera pans down to show the mess he left on the floor…
Oh, it’s a girl. In pink underwear. Sprawled out across the floor with no blanket, she’s still sleeping soundly. Apparently the area is quite toasty at night, which explains the lack of coverings together with the open window. See, this is nothing we haven’t seen before, but previous shows typically had the guy waking up with a set of D cups in his face, then immediately jumping back in flushed shock. At this point the girl is supposed to wake up slowly, then prostrate herself on him as she talks about how much she misses him, and how they haven’t seen each other in so long…etc etc.
No such luck here. Actually, she doesn’t wake up at all, at least not until the girl outside the door gives up trying to coax him with her bad Nayuki impression. She opens the door and walks in – it’s Umi, a not-so-surprisingly cute towheaded girl with turquoise eyes. The poor guy jumps up to try to prevent Umi from seeing anything, but it’s too late. Laying bare on the ground in front of her, in her beloved Wataru’s room, was a half naked girl with bigger breasts, a rounder ass, and possibly less split ends than her. She wouldn’t have any of it.
*cue episode title screen*
KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (another one)
Half-naked girl’s ritalined scream pierces through the thin paper walls to the dining room, where the rest of the residents of the dorm are waiting for Umi and Wataru to join them for breakfast. Strangely, none of them have any sort of reaction throughout the duration of the scream, only perking up when a large WHAP resonates. The purple haired girl inexplicably sprouts cat ears while the brown haired girl burns her tongue on the hot soup. The silver haired girl starts speaking, but the annoyingly slow speed of her speech makes me immediately fast forward twenty seconds to when the half naked girl is back on screen.
Oh, she slapped him. This is, of course, a perfectly natural anime reaction, assuming that what follows it is a flurry of household items being tossed in his general direction while he stumbles outside and slams the door. No such luck here – he’s on the ground and she’s still standing there with her slap-followthrough. Must be some wonderbra she’s wearing, cuz those things are defying gravity. Anyways, she’s pretty pissed, and picks up her clothes and jumps out the window.
“Who was that?” asks Umi. “NFI,” Wataru replies.
“That was the memory of our first encounter,” Wataru narrates in his hideously boring and inappropriately old voice. This should come as no surprise as a quick ANN lookup of his other anime roles reveals such memorable roles as “male student B (ep4)” in H&C II, “friend A (ep2)” in Nodame, and “Ginka Center member 1” in Prince of Tennis. Turns out the slow speaking girl has been cast in one other anime. One. An OVA. The only girl worth noting is the purple haired girl, who has the exact same voice as Primula. But doesn’t look anywhere near as loli.
For the rest of the episode, they stand, sit, and hang out at school. Somewhere in there we find out that the half naked girl is a new transfer student who’s also moving in to the same dorm – big surprise! Normally I would welcome this expected turn of events, save for the fact that she’s a complete bitch with no redeeming qualities other than the little pink bow on the elastic strap of her pantsu. And now she’s got clothes on…ugh. The residents of the dorm hold a little party for the new girl but she bitches them out (not a hint of blushing anywhere) and walks away, leaving poor Umi in tears. Turns out she doesn’t want to make any friends, cuz that’ll make graduating sad, or something stupid like that. Wataru starts talking smack at the new girl and the episode finishes with the two of them locked in one of those staring contests with the laser beams coming out of their eyes. All this while the wind is softly blowing sakura petals across, mind you.
ED: 「青空のファンタジア」 (Aozora no Fantasy) by 村田あゆみ(Murata Ayumi)
If the summary seemed quite uninspired to you – well, it’s hard to get excited about something that’s pushing the limits of “suck.” First episodes in low budget animes are typically better animated than the rest of the series, and judging by the paltry quality of this episode, the legendary “cube-cabbage” may make an appearance by episode 4 (at least that show had Feena). Not that I’ll be sticking around that long anyways. It’s pretty obvious now that half-naked bitch will eventually come out of her shell through much non-sexual persuasion and eventually become friends with the rest of the residents, maybe even getting into some sort of love triangle thing versus Umi. Booorringgg
This show is a good example of something that’s better left in the realm of its source material. Had this been a hentai, it would have been quite enjoyable, as the character designs are rather pleasing, the main girl cries a lot, and the rest of the girls dumb enough to make some good moaning sounds. Not to mention, I would really like to slap that one bitch, with either my hand or any other appendage on my body. Unfortunately, this clearly isn’t how this show is going to proceed, and we’re left with a boring anime with odd characters stuck in a story that makes no sense.
For those who didn’t understand what I meant by a lower “sanity” or “moral standard” needed to enjoy a harem show, does it make sense now?
Tuesdays are looking rather thin…