A quicker snapshot than usual, but I’ll make up for it by using twice as many screen caps! Here’s the new “educational” show Moegaku*5 (もえがく★5), running daily at 17:00 JST on Fuji TV.

The series is based on Learn English software, and now converted to television by director Takamoto Nobuhiro (also doing Hatenkou Yuugi) and screenwriter Watanabe Akira (Girls Bravo script). It’s a 15 minute show (12 mins without commercials) that runs every weekday, focusing on a different language every day (English, Korean, Spanish, Chinese, French). Each episode consists of two parts: 8 minutes of anime and 4 minutes of live-action studio stuff. The anime is about a magical girl called Tsukishima Moe (seriously), who runs around in Akihabara helping troubled foreign otakus buy the limited edition figurines they always wanted, while the studio part has Hirano Aya (Haruhi’s voice actress) learning how to say simple phrases in the featured language, by talking to an imported kid. Once she’s parroted the lines, a quartet of hip rope-jumpers take over and do a performance, then the phrases are repeated while everyone hops up and down.

I was sure nothing this season could be worse than Gunslinger Girl -Il Teatrino-, but Moegaku*5 may just have it beat. The anime part is just silly garbage, and I’ve no idea why kids would be interested in Akihabara shopping, but the real gem is the studio sequence with Aya filmed in HD. Sadly her voice is in retarded kitten mode, which is pretty much as grating as it gets, and when she starts attempting to speak English it’s just too painful to stand. In fact I had to pause the video and breathe calmly every 5 seconds in order to survive the entire episode, despite its short length. Only watch this if you have a death wish, or an insanely profound love for plastic fantastic voice actresses.

34 Comments

  1. I cut off a part of my post. Thank you Patrik for posting some live action screens of this show. I am laughing my a** off especially the expression on Aya and that “imported kid” face. She look like she thinking ” I am Haruhi f*cking Suzumiya why the hell am I on this piece of sh** show”.Also the jump rope picture with the guy with the afro.

    Roger
  2. My quick thoughts:
    -The fat guy was hilarious.
    -Moe’s voice makes my ears bleed.
    -Hirano Aya was waaaayyy too peppy.
    -The whole jumping rope thing was stupid (Rhythm learning lol)
    -Was it really necessary for them to pimp Hirano Aya’s MonStAR CD at the end there?

    Overall, this was hilariously bad, but as I suspected, it was worth watching one episode for that very reason.

  3. Terrifying….such that I must see an episode. I think the “Aya Hirano trying to speak to an imported kid” part sold it for me. Aya Hirano’s fall from grace is starting to mirror that of a western pop idol, but that’s what she wanted, to be a pop idol. So….

  4. “”who runs around in Akihabara helping troubled foreign otakus buy the limited edition figurines they always wanted,””. . . hahahaha hilarious!!!! i gotta see this, at least once

    BROOKLYN otaku
  5. Hirano aya chan….you are definety cute(kawaii) and I would go out with you for sure…but…please…..SHUT UP!!!
    This is a very nice good show to teach all other countries on how not to obliterate other languanges and at the same time not form graduated stupid adults that thinks on their adulthood that they know how to speak other languanges and at the same time teaches wrong!!

    in one expression:

    Is just like someone giving you, your own shit to taste and you reply:

    ” UHMMMM…THIS IS SO GOOD…I´LL GIVE TO MY FRIENDS AND MY FAMILY TO TASTE IT TOO!!”
    (LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL)
    THAT WAS SOOOO….
    SU + PE + SHI + A + RU = SPECIAL(AYA CHAN SPECIAL..REPEAT AFTER ME AYA CHAN SPECIAL!!)

    Tensai Otaku
  6. HOLY SHIT look at this post.. the truth about animators and seiyuus and their slave works and salaries:
    Seiyuu and Animators are Slaves, not Stars = http://www.riuva.com/?p=111

    everytime you buy a dvd from a anime you are helping the SLAVE companies and not the real workers and actors!!SHIT I´LL NEVER BUY AN ANIME DVD ON MY WHOLE LIFE….WAIT I NEVER DID IT….Now I am reliefed!!!
    I never thought a BAD thing(pirate and download for free animes) would be a very very nice thing….the crime compensates for sure sometimes.

    Tensai Otaku
  7. I know , Iknow…you all are going to say:
    ” WATASHI NO TAMENI HATARAETTE!!!”
    but wait been bullied by their own agencies…that´s why on the special of clannad with nakahara mai , when the director asked:
    ” what can you say as a sempai to all the professionals that are starting on the seiyuu profession?” than she stopped smiling and looked down at the flor and just said trying to smile again ” tsurai kamon demo GAMBATE NE ” = ” should be difficult and hard but never stop trying ” ….man I wanna cry!!those poor bastards….the animators too sleeping at work because they don´t have money to pay for their own seikatsu(their day lifes), their home bills…..how terrible!!
    IF YOU BUY ORIGINAL ANIME DVDS YOU ARE AN ANIMAL STARVING FOR SLAVERY!!(LOLLLLLLLL)
    deep momments by Tensai otaku(Direct from CNN BRAZIL)

    Tensai Otaku
  8. ugh, damn thing didn’t send it properly. Anyways, i really disliked it because it was so babyish in a way. Yes i understand that its a Kids TV Show but they didn’t have to make it so damn boring.

    InitialDRulz
  9. Yes the working conditions of Seiyuu and Animators are quite horrible as are many of the work positions in Japan. There is a condition that I forget the name of where salarymen have basically worked themselves to death. It isn’t just the anime industry, but an endemic social problem in Japanese workforce itself, that has long lead to children raising themselves (latch-key kids) while their parents essentially live out of offices, working constant overtime and sleeping under their desk. I wouldn’t want to work in that kind of environment. There’s just one problem though? That really doesn’t have much of anything to do with this series.

  10. YES IT DOES!!
    WHY IN GODS LAW A SEIYUU LIKE HIRANO AYA WOULD GRAB ANY CRAP WORK THAT COMES IN HER SIGHT AT FIRST??
    IT´S NOT HER IT´S HER AGENCY….ER…I AM HER KUKUSCLAN SLAVERY AGENCY?
    OH COME ON MAN DO YOU BUY ORIGINAL DVDS????
    IF SO YOU´RE ONE OF THEM TOO!!!
    AT FIRST I GOT HORRIFIED EVEN MY MOTHER THAT IS THE CHIEFHEAD IN AN ADMINISTRATION COMPANY(THE LESS PAID IN BRAZIL) MAKES 30x MORE THAN A SEIYUU AND 80x MORE THAN AN ANIMATOR….YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN…THIS IS SLAVERY FOR SURE!!!EVEN IN MISERY CONDITIONS IN MY COUNTRY THEY CAN AFFORD MORE THAN THIS JAPANESE PROFESSIONALS….DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS RIGHT???
    PATRIK MY SON AND OMNI WHY NOT CREATE A POLL ABOUT THIS SERIOUS TEXT IN THE LINK???
    REFLECT BEFORE YOU ASK IF YOU ARE A REAL OTAKU THAT KNOWS EVERYTHING…AND TELL ME NOW THAT YOU DON´T CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO ALL THIS PEOPLE THAT WORK AND MAKES WHAT WE ALL LIKE!!

    Tensai Otaku
  11. This is so bad it’s good…and by good I mean bad…but still worth watching. I wanna see all the bewildered imported kids and Aya Hirano’s downward spiral, that being said…MORE!

    Grinz
  12. OK I heard this stuff is bad, no expectations, but I’ll watch it for the love of Aya anyway. Love conquers all 😀

    Never expected her to be half decent at speaking English/any foreign language anyway…although she did live in the states for a year or so when she was like…3. Looks like she forgot all that XD

    LONG LIVE HIRANO AYA! Yeah I was one of those guys who flew to across US to see Aya at AX

    (*start rant* And those 2ch anti-Hirano vipper can go to hell. They’re just anti-social nerds who hate popular culture and have no life outside of their rooms anyway. *end rant*)

    W-General
  13. Couldn’t stop laughing when watching this show, IT WAS SO STUPID! If the show was for kids, why did they put in those themes more common to adults? If the show was for adults (I’m guessing Hirano Aya fans), then what’s with the kiddy-grade learning atmosphere?
    Never thought that I’d ever say this for an anime, but this has absolutely no reason for existence.

    Tom
  14. Have you seen the KID´s face…his expression was soooo priceless….like he was thinking:

    ” OMG WHAT I AM DOING IN THE FREAKING SHOW…WHO IS THIS BITCH BY MY SIDE ANYWAY…AND ARE THIS JUMPING MONKEYS A BUNCH AF A RETARDED…HAVE ALL THIS PEOPLE NO PRIDE AT ALL?? ”

    (LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL)

    PS:Don´t forget our movimment:
    ” Are you an animal starving for salavery !!?? “

    Tensai Otaku
  15. @W-General: You know this has nothing to do with Pro-Aya Hirano or Anti-Aya Hirano types clashing, when a show is bad, it’s just bad, and nothing is going to stop that, not even the most glamorized Seiyuu in the industry. Considering she is literally in it for less than a few minutes, it’s really not going to make a difference, not that it should anyway. I find it best not to let casting lead me to a show.

    For example, I’m a huge Rie Kugimiya fan, but I cannot bring myself to watch something like Glass No Kantai because it’s just brutally bad. God knows she’ll be in eight dozen or so other shows at the same time, and while Aya Hirano might not get a lot of work by comparison, she still will eventually, it’s best to wait for the shows that do count for when she does get the roles, like say Haruhi.

  16. *Kaioshin Sama

    You are definatly right this time!!!And I agree with you!!!It´s not just because you have ordered mcdonalds hamburgers(the best in my opinion) that you are eating today´s fresh food!!So would you blame your new hepatitis to the delivery service or to the company itself????( hirano aya or her slavery agency???)

    OH GOSH!! this marijuana is giving me the creepiest thoughts I´ve ever had!!!

    PS: this marijuana = my sleeping peels 😀

    Tensai Otaku

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