「こよみトーラス」 (Koyomi Tōrasu)
I don’t actually have a good, dedicated doughnut place around where I live; other than the bad franchise chains, most places where they sell doughnuts are actually coffee shops, because the only thing Australians crave for more than empty carbs is caffeine, preferably through a drip line. Which is a shame, because I need a better way to feed my breadlust, and also because I can’t fully take part in the technical doughnut analytics that are integral to the understanding of this episode. I don’t have enough experience with either dessert pastries or type two diabetes. Forgive me, readers, I have failed you.
It is spelt ‘doughnuts’, though. It’s made of dough. Please.
So while I’d much rather talk about tasty, tasty junk food, which this episode of Koyomimonogatari dedicated to celebrating, instead I’m going to talk about Shinobu, which I understand is a topic both less relevant and less interesting. Don’t worry, we’re not going to discuss anything serious—nothing could be as serious as doughnuts, anyway. Let’s just chat about useless things, because I don’t have enough blood sugar to do much more. I could really go for a doughnut right now.
I wonder when Shinobu became such a gag character, as well as fetish fuel. The latter I can sort of understand, since part of the gothic appeal of vampires has always been sexual (see granddaddy Dracula, for starters), and the loli-vampire seems to awfully popular in Japan (see Touhou Project, Blazblue, etc). But consider our first, Bekemonogatari impression of Shinobu, where she just sat in the corner as little more than furniture. She’s sure come a, er, long way since then. I’m sure if Kizumonogatari had come out sooner it’d be an even stranger experience watching Shinobu rave about confectionery like she was auditioning for a part in Dagashi Kashi. Mind you, I don’t really have a great problem with this; I’m just wondering how she got this way, because we don’t really see Shinobu transition from unresponsive lump to chatty doughnut aficionado. I was hoping that Koyomimonogatari would cover that, but I understand that there were more important developments to occupy us.
The other thing I wanted to see this week was an encounter between Shinobu and Senjougahara, who has a non-speaking role this week. I don’t recall the two having interacted much, if at all, and they seem to have personalities that will mix like oil and water. Now, while Senjougahara is nominally the girlfriend, I actually consider her a bit of an underdog in the whole Araragi harem race, especially compared to Shinobu. Sure, in some other harem ‘girlfriend’ is a clear victory, but here it’s a titled being weighed against ‘eternal life partner’ (who lives in Araragi’s shadow, to stack the deck a bit more). At some point Shinobu just wins by default, which is lame. Even with the talk of love in this episode, I still have a slight but definite bias for Senjougahara. Life advice: if your girlfriend would take time from exam preparations to hand-make doughnuts for you, she’s a keeper. I’m also biased because her ex (arguably Kaiki) is cooler than Shinobu’s ex (arguably, the Count from Sesame Street). I hope she gets to throw down with Shinobu at some point. Or girl talk. I can see it going either way.
I’m not actually going anywhere with this. I know I talked about matchups last week as well; I don’t know what that says about me or the show. Let’s just say: a Monogatari fighting game will actually be pretty viable.