“First Swim in Another Country!”
Have you heard about the increased incidents of heatwaves across the world? Regardless, please listen to my conspiracy theory. So sometimes, I question why Rin has shark teeth. In fact, someone asked about the design choice on Discord and I initially gave a response based upon my prior knowledge of how Free! came to be an anime. But after doing some research, the answer becomes much clearer.
Sharks have survived through 450 million years of ups and downs, so they have this uncanny ability to consistently remain in the 1% of species that avoid extinction. What am I getting at? Rin has been built like a hybrid between shark and human – a bishie shark boy if you must. Namely with a purpose to endure through time as a beacon of hope and dreams for fujoshis until the end of time. But why though? This is a massive con on KyoAni’s part!!! They’ve socially engineered both moe blobs and bishies to brainwash anime fans and establish a firm grip, that will allow them to forcefully enslave and control the human population in millions of years to come, male or female alike.
With an unprecedented crisis dawning upon us, one that might culminate in the end of humanity as we know it, folks are gonna be apprehensive. They will turn to entertainment mediums to quell their anxiety, and the masses will turn to anime as a coping mechanism in response to a hopeless future. But KyoAni are not wasting their time. Other than capitalising upon this opportunity, they have been preparing to face this eventuality for quite some time. Rising sea levels? Not an issue if all our dudes turn out to be competitive swimmers. Global warming? Not an issue if all our dudes are naked most of the time.
But when the next mass extinction event occurs due to climate change, while our boys have been working on their swimming techniques to combat rising sea levels, and have incredible physiques that allow them to get away with being shirtless, their survival is far from guaranteed. From an evolutionary perspective, and in the context of survival, those shark teeth begin make a whole load of sense. It would give Rin a natural edge to hunting prey and allow him to fight off the zombie hoards, in ways that wouldn’t be accessible to others. Can’t find a weapon? Chomp. Ran out of ammo? Chomp. Yaoi wish fulfilment? Chomp.
So why don’t KyoAni give everyone shark teeth? You see, they’ve been discreetly doing it with female characters for a while. You see those snaggle tooths? Yup. That’s what I’m talking about. But it’s evidently not a popular aesthetic on guys though, and seems to be included as an insurance policy in case things go awry. A single option is better than nothing. Otherwise the master plan proceeds as normal and Haruka will do the heavylifting as required.
Following these reveals, I might not be allowed to live for long. But for what it’s worth, this could be important for the sake of humanity’s survival. For all we know, Free S3 might be responsible due to getting its fans all hot and bothered, thus being a direct cause for global warming. And if I had to put my life on a guess, this is all a part of KyoAni’s masterplan – combine social engineering and a mass extinction event, in order to attain world domination.
KyoAni behind climate change confirmed.
Note: For serious discussion about this episode, I’ll try and reply to comments on this post.