「つながりたいけど, 許されない」 (Tsunagaritai kedo, Yurusarenai)

“I Want to Connect, but I Can’t Be Forgiven”

After leaving Kazuki on a less sympathetic note in the last cliffhanger for resenting his younger brother, this episode gives us more background on why Kazuki’s feelings for Haruka are far more complicated. With Kazuki’s knowledge of having a different biological mother weighing down on him, it becomes difficult for him to feel disassociated with his current family. On top of this, the responsibility that he feels for indirectly causing Haruka’s disability ends up further creating chaos in Kazuki’s mind as he continues to let it consume his life.

For starters, many of Kazuki’s reckless decisions throughout the series have been attributed in this episode to the self-loathing that Kazuki has for Haruka getting hit by Truck-kun leading him to sabotage himself as a person. Misdeeds like stealing a cat or creating a lie by leading Haruka to believe he’s the real Sara to build a relationship with his little brother through his favorite idol were done directly for Kazuki to continue to punish himself, especially as each decision blows up in his face. This becomes a double-edged sword when he’s revealed in front of Sara’s friends and his family to be an imposter, exposing that he’s been dressing up as Sara to lie to his little brother and his family about Sara’s personal connection with Haruka. Kazuki had been fine with looking terrible and punishing himself through self-imposed repentance like quitting soccer, but the fact that he ended up punishing Haruka upon being exposed was the breaking point that sent him into further self-loathing for not only his little brother crossing the street, but hurting him by faking his bond with Sara.

Much of the guilt is also linked to Kazuki’s family situation as he finds himself disconnected with his family after finding out his biological mother is a different woman. Upon finding out this information from his grandfather’s deathbed, he quickly felt himself feeling like a stranger as he questioned who he really was in relation to his family. Briefly before Haruka’s accident, Kazuki reunited with his biological mother, who also has a family of her own, but, despite feeling his biological mother’s warmth when they remet, he ultimately wanted to side with his new family now that he’s built a far closer relationship with Haruka since then. But when he rushes to see his mother off without Haruka knowing who it is and keeping their reunion a secret, Haruka follows him too quickly, leading him to get hit by a truck and lose his inability to walk in the process. As a result, he feels being with his new family as an obligation to fulfill the self-imposed torture on himself to be treated like family and treated like it wasn’t his fault when he feels responsible for not watching Haruka enough to prevent him from getting hit.

The guilt that Kazuki brings with him ends up ejecting them far too early from the kappa zombie, bringing them to both fail to extract the shirikodama and to be punished by being trapped in their kappa bodies. This conflict helps to bring the plot back into focusing on the underlying themes behind why the kappa go after the zombies, how the zombies are constructed through the otter-esque forces, and the roles that Reo and Mabu have in creating the zombies. These two in particular end up hitting a strange crossroads as constructing the one zombie that was able to withstand a kappa attack creates a rift between the two. With how detached Mabu is towards his personal feelings like Reo is, it’s bound to create further development between these two as they contend with life now that they made a zombie that survived at the end of the day.

10 Comments

  1. I’m super curious about Mabu and Reo (=^=) but also during the “sara’s kidnap” scene, i understood that she might be a kappa too(??? or maybe it was just the little kappa that appears with her all the time that helped her to escape from Toi (out of nowhere lol) BUT if Sara could turn into a Kappa…maaaaybe Keppi has a human form too… and is there a connection between Sara and Keppi? aghhhh i can’t wait for the next episodes but also i dont want the show to end ;_;

    sanbika
    1. It’s always an intense wait to see what happens with Sarazanmai, especially with how all of the episodes so far have ended with an explosive cliff-hanger or reveal. Sara’s overall existence was also a huge reveal in the episode with both the fact that Sara is a pre-existing idol that Kazuki merely impersonates and that the kappa that appears on her show is her very own kappa form. All of the escape routes she took were amusing, but they also give away that Sara has some involvement with the kappa zombie ordeal alongside Keppei and that her “Greek Chorus” instructions were likely her own understanding of the conflict she was foreshadowing. Some are saying she has some involvement with Reo and Mabu by giving them hints before they extract a criminal’s desire, but time will tell where her allegiance skews towards.

      Choya
  2. I think this anime just makes me tired, so tired lol I’m very tired after binging 5 episodes by accident, what is this I’m watching, Japanese people scare me now, I feel like I just joined a cult here -_-“..

    Either way, like the hard talk in the end, was cool xd

    Mi-chan
    1. The problem with Mabu and Leo’s character is that they sort of already had at least 2 characters arcs… but not in this show. One was in a prequel manga, and another in the form of a Twitter account of which I can’t find any translation to the tweets (yet).

      So I’m guessing the show doesn’t exactly require, but at the same time presupposes that the viewers would’ve at least peeked at these additional materials about Mabu and Leo.

      TheYepMan
      1. I got almost nothing from the manga. It was a painful read. There was a baby and something about magic dishes. Seems relevant to the anime but … .makes …. no …. sense ………..(yet)
        I imagine it’ll become relevant later but I don’t feel that the manga spoils anything about the anime.
        Knowing Ikuhara, it’ll be one of those things which makes genius sense afterwards but is just nonsensical until you know the other stuff you need to know.

        Whoever posted about the manga earlier, thank you. I think.

        danny

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