Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu – 19

「僕らは溢れ出る」 (Bokura wa Afure Deru)
“We’re Overflowing”

The speech was only preface for what comes next- karaoke. Kana was right, Kyou’s speech won him a lot of fans, though Anna is the most important. It struck me as rude how people kept commenting on how much Anna was eating. You could tell she was already uncomfortable being there (which she confesses to Kyou was because she quit the club), and that made it much worse. I have a feeling she only agreed to go to karaoke because she was afraid people would dislike her if she didn’t go. Kyou never tells Anna to her face “really, still eating?”, never criticizes her for being her (though he teases her for it, but that’s all in good spirit), which shines in contrast to the others. Incorporating the OP as Kyou’s karaoke number was a nice touch there.

Kyou is expanding his book interests beyond murder and human anatomy to social studies. This time, he was perusing the section with books like “Clothing Around the World” followed by “the History of Books” and “Social Studies”. I wonder if he was reading socials studies books or books on fashion. Though on the same shelf during the pan out is also “Interesting Crimes” and “It Came from Outer Space”, so who knows.

Go Kanzaki and Hara, yet more great wingpeople on Kyou and Anna’s side! Turns out Kanzaki was trying to make Hara more comfortable by inviting Anna and Hara took the opportunity to throw a bone to Kyou as “double date but not a date”. Audiences certainly feel the frustration of the “going out but not going out” dilemma and for once a character actually addresses it, with Kanzaki’s heart to heart talk with Kyou at the end there.

The food theme continues with the double date (but not a date) to Sweets Paradise, an actual dessert buffet chain that does exist everywhere here (there’s even one close to me). Both Hara and Kyou show up early, and Hara tries to lend Kyou a hand with White Day shopping, as does Anna with Kanzaki. It was incredibly adorable how both couples helped each other out, though it sparks some pretty intense jealousy that puts Kyou in fear for his life. Notably, Kyou actually catches himself in the act of being negative while shopping with Hara and stops himself. He’s taking baby steps towards being a more confident man.

That whole scene with Kanzaki at the buffet made me so uncomfortable. That is absolutely unhealthy behavior for him to force his chubby fetish on Hara and try to make her eat more than she’s comfortable eating. It betrays her trust. If he doesn’t respect or support her in how she wants to change herself, how will he respect and support her in other areas? Kanzaki means well with his “I’ll love you no matter how you look”, but it was frankly cruel for him to take her to a food buffet when she’s commented multiple times on her struggle with her weight. And to have her bring Anna along too, which only makes it worse because Anna loves eating a ton and has no weight insecurities.

Hara is too nice and insecure about her physical appearance (plus liking Kanzaki) to be confident enough to speak up for herself, especially when Kanzaki won’t accept her decision. I have to wonder if Hara’s reluctance to respond to Kanzaki’s “Let’s be official” was because she likes him obviously, but also doesn’t feel comfortable with the way he doesn’t respect her decisions.

Kyou was the total man of the hour speaking up for Hara and telling Kanzaki to shut the fuck up and listen to and respect Hara. It needed to be said and boy did I breathe a sigh of relief. “You don’t get to stop her from wanting to change herself”. What powerful words.

Kyou was on fire- right after telling Kanzaki off for Hara, he owns up to his jealousy (get the hell away from my girl) that was building up since the ballboys karaoke hang-out. Kyou gets unusually assertive when staking out “Anna’s mine”, using “ore”, the more assertive masculine “mine” instead of “boku”, the softer masculine pronoun he normally uses. Anna gets an earful of that implied confession, payback for her indirect confession made in Kyou’s earshot earlier.

One of the many things I love about Norio-sensei’s writing is how she writes the flaws and painful thoughtlessness of youth but doesn’t romanticize it or villainize it. She gives each character their good points, paints them as real people who do hurtful things but have room to grow from that. They are not characters reduced to just one good or bad point. Take Kanzaki, his behavior towards Hara is less than healthy, but he’s a good guy nonetheless- his weak points stem from immaturity and that should hopefully improve with time, especially after Kyou calling him out on it. His whole heart to heart conversation with Kyou was so encouraging, telling Kyou the things he can’t tell himself, about how good a match he and Anna really are, that Kyou’s “found himself”.

“Don’t look away”- Kyou needs that reminder (and don’t we all?) to believe in himself. Comparison is a beast, especially next to people who seem to have it all together and you don’t. It’s so easy to get lost in your head with the “have nots” until you get trapped in a downward spiral, which Kyou almost does. I love how Anna and Kyou inspire each other, take courage from each other, like a relay race, handing the baton off to each other when the going gets rough. He realizes the courage it took for Anna to give him the Valentine’s muffin, so he does the same with White Day. Kyou really is the man of the hour, the day, the season- not just baking her a muffin, but also hiding the bracelet in the middle- one of the best romantic scenes out there. He pays attention to the details- remembers she gave him a chocolate muffin and makes her a matching vanilla one, remembers she loves dogs and gets her a dog bracelet (he’s got good taste for his age). If you needed further proof that he’s the perfect one for Anna, look no further.