Kampfer – 06
「Heimkehr ～敵か味方か～」 (Teki ka Mikata ka)
“Homecoming ~Friend or Foe~”
Natsuru my boy, you are so screwed. Shizuku’s in your dreams now; there’s no escaping her deadly lips anymore! Just give in and let her ravish your body like there’s no tomorrow. You’ll learn to like it soon enough.
You just know he’s in trouble when a fantasy about his beloved Kaede can get derailed by Shizuku. Ah, such is the power of the seductive student council president. She’s admittedly a cougar who prefers younger boys because of their inexperience too! Anyway, I doubt Natsuru will ever forget about how he had to compensate by giving up his first kiss, but seriously, does he even want to? He’d have to be outright gay in a non-yuri kind of way if he wants to wipe this from his memory. Funny thing is, he could’ve been two-for-two this week after getting dragged into the “Something Like a Maid Cafe” with her master Kaede asking for a kiss. With Shizuku helping him out, how the hell did he say no? Instead, he asks Kaede for anything but that and settles on accompanying her for the day. Okay, I take it back. Maybe he is that kind of gay. I agree with Shizuku, this cafe sure has some shitty service.
The outrage doesn’t end there though. Not only did he deprive himself of Kaede’s succulent lips and tongue, Natsuru didn’t seem to enjoy Mikoto’s full out, childhood friend, “do you want dinner, a bath, or me?” apron-only appearance. I don’t know about you guys, but I doubt I’d be able to turn Mikoto away if she willingly gave me this kind of service. She has that bubbly attitude and isn’t the least bit shy around around her childhood friend. What more could you ask for? Somewhere not too far off in SoraOto land, I just know Tomoki’s rolling over in his grave at the sight of this, having been killed by a deadly karate chop. Repulsed, I’m sure Tomoki would tell Natsuru, “you make me sick.”
Speaking of which, the hormone-raging fallout of the previous episode kind of stole the thunder from Mikoto’s appearance as a red Kampfer. While we did get to see her try to mess Natsuru up and cut him to bits, I’m actually relieved they were able to get everyone’s true identities cleared up right away. At the halfway point of the series, the last thing I’d want to see now is them continuing under the pretense that they’re enemies and using a couple of episodes to resolve that. Instead, I’m more interested in the talk Shizuku brought up about Kaede’s zoumotsu animals and how they all become Messengers. Seeing as Kaede is completely oblivious to all the Kampfer stuff even after Shizuku hinted at all the details (more like described Natsuru in impeccable detail), I’m curious as to how this lovestruck lesbian is the harbinger of Kampfer death.
That said, the other thing I didn’t want to see is Natsuru in a maid outfit when he’s a guy, even if it marks the first time he’s able to control his transformation ability. I didn’t need to see that, nor did Mikoto for that matter. So with another Kampfer, we also have another Messenger. This time it’s Chissoku Narainu, who the characters will be the first to tell you sounds just like Noto Mamiko. Well I’ll be damned, it does! On that note, some of the other maids in the episode sounded like Mizuki Nana too! Nana can welcome me home and call me master all she wants. In textbook scripted fashion, Natsuru was victimized as an easy cash grab again; however, he’s in store for a real treat now that Kaede has asked him to spend a night at her place to make up for taking off on her earlier. Why am I so convinced this will just be another missed opportunity though? Damn you Senou Natsuru. Damn you. You are a disgrace to men everywhere!