OP: 「ギミー！レボリューション」 (Gimme! Revolution) by 内田真礼 (Uchida Maaya)
「地球はツインテールの星」 (Chikyuu wa Tsuinte-ru no Hoshi)
“Earth is a Twin-tail World”
Whether ’tis easier on my wits to skip
The farce and foils of outrageous anime
Or to take pen against its absurd premise,
And with words legitimise. To write: to blog
One more; to write intros for shows that start
With a male lead rating female classmates by
Specific hairdo; no character has he
Save his rabid fetish. To write, to blog;
To blog; perchance it’s good: ay, there’s the rub;
For the more I write the more I realise that
In this enlightened age of ours we need
Enlightened fare. Thus Twintails is
The ecchi we need but do not deserve;
It elevates the modern woman from just
A pair of mammaries, or ovaries
To a pair of tied plaits, such flattery
That transcends base male vices and desires.
Though the script be vapid and cast generic,
When styled hair can complete perfection make,
Who needs dialogue? Do not even men
Wish in their hearts to be the little girl
(But still retain their phallic weaponry),
Straying into creepy territory
Yet paying it no mind, as the bad guy
Is creepier still and can be beaten
With shiny arrays of visual effects?
Thus please consult your conscience not at all
Ignore inconsistencies with force fields
And little self-subverting hints of shame.
No cause will move a nation quite like hair
If you take refuge in audacity.
Forget sensibilities and enjoy
Your Kamen Rider with a twist of weird.
Just avoid public office! If so, these sins
Need never be remember’d
ED: 「ツインテール・ドリーマー！」 (Twin-tail Dreamer!) by 上坂すみれ, 相坂優歌, 赤﨑千夏 (Uesaka Sumire, Aisaka Yuuka, Akasaki Chinatsu)